Just stop. [I am sorry.]

Stop to call yourself out, once every while.
No, scream yourself out.
You've had that feeling, where you just get done crying and criticizing and whining about someone doing something "they didn't have control over," and when you turn around, go back home, you realize you're doing the same thing, only worse. Everything is so confusing now that he's gone.
There. I've said it.
I miss that stability, that smile to lead me on. even though I wasted a valuable time in my life feeling guilty and on the phone, I miss his low, sweeping voice telling me what the best part of the day was.
He brought me that rock to stand on, and though he wasn't the most reliable or strong rock of the bunch, he gave me all he could manage to. maybe that's why I'm scared for Kaitlyn.
again, I've said it.
I don't hate her.
I just don't want the same thing to happen, the happiness for him or the hurt for her.
[for God's sake, she's just learning... and she doesn't need the hard way, Aaron... please be better for her than you were for me, if you're out there...somewhere...]
But who am I to say the weight of her heart doesn't match his?
I barely know her.
I barely know anything anymore, and my friends will confirm that.
I am so sorry for making mean comments about you liking her because she was one year younger.
when, I just may be falling for a guy that is two years older.
I'm sorry for ripping you apart when you had two girls you liked.
I'm liking four.
I'm sorry for playing those games with you when we weren't going out.
But I still fantasize about spending the night by the other guys' side.
none of us know whats right. we're just teenagers with our eyes set on peace and happiness.
but I'm sick of playing these games with them.
I'm no whore.
I'm no...